Mind over Matter. Thursday 29th March.

On Maundy Thursday last year I was setting out on my walk through Scotland, propping myself up on my poles of Hazel and Ash and heading for Knoydart. This Easter I’ll have to stay at home, while the others head to Gometra, and hope to be ready to go with them in July.

Until Tuesday (a week after the surgery) I couldn’t lift my leg up at all, and now I’ve noticed that I can’t lift it out sideways (abduction). Tuesday evening I sat and stared at it trying to get a message through, but it was playing completely dead. It’s a weird feeling, almost like having forgotten how to move, and is like trying to lift something inert with the power of my mind – using psychokinesis. I had quite a supernatural feeling when the leg eventually, and haltingly, lifted a few inches. I went through the whole thing again this morning, lying on my side and trying to lift the leg upwards (sideways).

It’s been scary, thinking that I might have a damaged femoral nerve, but even if that’s true I’m guessing that being able to move the leg, even with effort, means that any problem is likely to be reversible. The op was, after all, a controlled car crash, so the nerve might have been stretched or compressed a bit. The bruising on the thigh is starting to show now, giving some sign of the trauma.

On most of the websites discussing this anterior approach to hip replacement, they say that there is no reason why the patient shouldn’t be walking in a few days after surgery, and without crutches after a week or two. But the forum threads I’ve read show a range of recovery times well beyond this.

I’m trying to reassure myself that my complete dependence on crutches, 9 days after the surgery, is perfectly fine. I’ve also decided that the only way that I’m going to be able to keep moving, trusting that this is the best form of rehab., is to stay on high doses of pain relief.